Acts of Love

~SMILE~

2010-07-01T21:25:00.002+08:00

Yesterday, Burt and Whye Leng let us do an assignment during the midweek service.
We were asked to make something out of the plasticine that can represent us and also our relationship with the church.

I made a little cookie with a smiley face~
Everybody was wondering, and most of them were saying that it's a little small biscuit.
However, this little smiley biscuit is very meaningful to me.

Before I became a Christian, I always wanted to be the happiest person on earth.
When I faced unhappy moments, when I was being betrayed,
I had always wanted to be the happiest person.
Because I want to show those who had hurt me, betrayed me that I can still live as a happy person, despite what they had done to me.
At the same time, I wanted to show off that I am more happier than they do.
However, I was really naive.
Outwardly, I was always happy.
But inwardly, I felt so empty.
And the happiness that I felt had always being brushed off so easily whenever I was being left alone.
It didn't last.

After I became a Christian, I always heard different disciples shared about my cheerful and jovial character.
At first I thought that those are not true.
But slowly, I understood what they meant.
I found myself not only being able to smile always, but eventually, my cheerfulness had impacted people around me, and it made them happy as well!
I am really glad that after I knew God, I am still a happy girl.
But the kind of cheerfulness in me is very different from the one that I had before I became a Christian.
I am not only happy always, but my cheerful character had left impact in people's life, and this made them smile as well.
I am no longer a shell that smile from the outside, but carries a sour face from the inside.
Now, I am a happy person from the inside out.
That's why I made the little smiley cookie for my assignment.

Mad World

2010-05-23T21:38:00.003+08:00

All around me are familiar faces
Worn out places Worn out faces
Bright and early for the daily races
Going no where Going no where
Their tears are filling up their glasses
No expression No expression
Hide my head I wanna drown my sorrow
No tomorrow No tomorrow
And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take
When people run in circles it's a very very
Mad world Mad world
Children waiting for the day they feel good
Happy birthday Happy birthday
And I feel the way that every child should
Sit and listen Sit and listen
Went to school and I was very nervous
No one knew me No one knew me
Hello teacher tell me what's my lesson
Look right through me
Look right through me
And I find it kind of funny I find it kind of sad
The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had
I find it hard to tell you I find it hard to take
When people run in circles its a very very
Mad world Mad world
Mad world Mad world

Love listening to this song,
it's kind of sad,
and a lot to ponder upon.
Feel moved at "The dreams in which I'm dying are the best I've ever had"
The lyrics portrait a lot of hopeless situations,
such as people were working hard for their own lives,
perhaps, life is too tough for them,
but they just have no time to mourn about it.
And when the best dream you've ever had is the dream in which you're dying,
it's even more hopeless, like, nothing else better can appear in your dream.
Daily battling with death, it's really not easy.
Sometimes I thought, well, my life is good enough,
I'm not in such situation.
Yeah, that's true.
The life I'm having is never hopeless because I have God.
Perhaps people around don't think that they are hopeless or helpless,
perhaps they might think that they are having a good life.
But, is that so?
Are their souls decaying without them realizing?
What will happen if one day they found out that everything they've earned will be vanished in a second.
What if the life they are living is exactly the life that's being portrait in the lyrics of Mad World?
Yeah, this world is a mad world,
without us realizing, it has become a mad world.
Perhaps, it's in a worser situation than the one being described in the lyrics?

A Different Kind of Baby-sitting

2010-04-16T08:21:00.002+08:00

It's been an interesting journey to babysit three considered "elderly" kids. I mean, they are really great kids! When their parents were away, they missed them, and they wrote cards for them. It's so heart-warming that they will post the cards on their fridge, so that when daddy and mommy come back, they will see it. I felt amazed also, at this age, 6, 8, and 10, they know how to operate a computer, they have their own emails, and they can email daddy and mommy whenever they want. They are really discipline! They know what should they do after school. First wash up; then homework; play; have dinner; watch TVIQ; and then go to bed before 8.30p.m.

There were times that I wonder, what will it be if I have my own kids. Definitely it's not easy to train them to behave that way. Sabrina told me she used to be lazy and never do her homework, and when her parents found out, she got 50 spanks! I know it's painful, for her and her parents.However, when you look at the outcome, you will think that it's all worth the pain.

There were times also that I thought, it will be so fun and so precious to see how your own children grow up, seeing them trying to talk like adults and act like adults, it's like a growing process for them. How I wish next time if I have my own kids, I really want to spend those precious moments together with them. And when I see them boasting about what their parents had done for them, I just feel like, when I have my own kids, I hope to be a parent where my children will boast about my goodness as well. I think they feel really proud of their parents because of their love for the children.

I know how it feels when parents are not around. I just hope that in this one week time, at least I can always be with them during dinner and after dinner, to watch TVIQ together, and to watch other movies during weekend. And we found out that, there are so many things that we never know, but we've learned from TVIQ's Johan The Young Scientist. It sounds like Malaysian produced educational programme, but I think, it's just great!

Today is just a second day, still have another 5 days to go! ^^

Our Memory

2010-04-06T16:09:00.003+08:00

Fall in love with this song recently,
it's one of the theme song in "My Lucky Star"
This is actually a very touching drama,
(With quite a bit of scandals at the back...)
you'll get emo watching it, or even get emo when you listen to this song.
This is the drama that made me start admiring Jimmy Lin again,
not because of his look,
but his acting really had improved quite a bit~
Hmm... Kind of listed him in "My favorite actor" list...

Clash of Titans

2010-04-06T08:53:00.003+08:00

I've been waiting with excitement and patiently for this movie!
Finally it's here!

The previous few movies had been really really disappointing,
I really hope that this one will be better.
However, still, I don't want to put too much of expectations.

The one that I watched was 3D movie.
At first I thought, the story line of this movie is really kind of kiddish.
But, when think of it as a remake of the "Clash of Titans" in 1981,
the story line is still acceptable.

I like the action scene.
Well, yeah, I love action movie.
However, with the 3D effect, everything moves too fast!
I can't really see clearly...
But I know, the fighting scene is kind of cool.
I guess I'm gonna watch for a second time,
and it's really tempting to make a vow that...
I will never watch any movie in 3D anymore!!! (>_<)

Oh, another plus point for this movie,
I agree with Gabrielle that the creatures that they've made is really fantastic!
Love them!

Let go the pain, waiting for a better tomorrow

2010-01-29T09:24:00.002+08:00

Wrote down the insights from the Quiet Time I've done for the past two weeks (=.=)
A lot came into my mind.
Recently, it seems like God is using every opportunities to challenge me to find security in Him.
When I was reading the book of Genesis, looking at Joseph's life, I realize how tiny my faith in God is!

Before this, I was struggling badly to let go the hurts that my friends had caused during my schooling days.
It's really painful and unbearable, something that I will never forget.
When I read the story about Joseph, I realized how a person who put his confidence in God will handle all these situations.
I thought, when Joseph was being sold by his brothers, definitely he didn't feel good as well.
He might be thinking on the way to Egypt,
"Why is this happening to me?"
"What am I going to do next?"
Perhaps he felt hurt,
perhaps he felt for what his brothers had done.
What else can he do now?

In the book of Genesis, the Bible never mentioned how had Joseph felt.
The Bible only described how he became a servant in Potiphar's house,
what kind of servant was he,
and how he stood firm for God.
Until he worked for Pharaoh, and met his brothers.
Bible never mentioned whether Joseph was angry or had he any complaints.
However, the Bible did mention what he said to his brothers when they were reunited.
"And now, do not be distressed and do not be angry with yourselves for selling me here, because it was to save lives that God sent me ahead of you."
"But God sent me ahead of you to preserve for you a remnant on earth and to save your lives by a great deliverance."
"So then, it was not you who sent me here, but God."
Everything was because God had a better way for them.

There were so many times when I recalled those unpleasant memories,
I was paralyzed. I did not know what to do.
Looking at Joseph, what a big heart he had!
There is only God in his heart, and he knew that everything was being planned by God.
He believed that after all these troubles and sufferings, good thing will come out of it.
Why do I still hold on to the hurts and pains?
Why do I let the hurts and pains to stop me from shining for God?
Why do I let these hurts and pains blinded me from looking at the bright future that God had prepared for me?
I'm such a fool!
What I need to focus on, was not how to get myself healed.
Instead, I should wait in anticipation, that after all these challenges, good things will come out of it.

Trying Earth Color

2010-01-24T20:25:00.005+08:00

Oops, got to know that the theme will be "Earthly",
so tried out this new earthly color.
But bad bad compact digital camera...
Can't even see the "pink"!!! (T_T)

The church learned a new word today
"Narcissism"
I knew this word long ago,
because I'm a narcist since young~ lol
And what narcists like to do is --> Camwhoring~ ^^

Make Up Testing

2010-01-23T20:26:00.003+08:00

Below is the make up that I'm gonna do for somebody in the near future~ ^^

Can I not...

2010-01-17T22:38:00.002+08:00

I feel lousy... =.=
Can I not do the slides?
Can I not write the paper?
Can I not do the table of contents?
Can I not prepare slides for the updates?
Can I not analyze my data?

Can I? Can I?(>_<)

I Look Pale??

2010-01-12T20:39:00.003+08:00

Went for the third blood donation today
Hmm... Yeah, because I always use their flowcytometer,
that's why I have to donate every three months to repay all the FOC services that blood bank had provided me.

Well, I slept at 8pm last night, in order for me to have enough sleep...
However, I still wake up one hour late =.=
When I went in to check my blood pressure,
Doctor said that I look pale (@_@)
and she predicted that I won't pass the haemoglobin test.
Amazingly, I've passed! And I'm qualified to donate my blood~ ^^
Just that, I was feeling a little hungry before I went, even though I've had my breakfast.
Everything went well, I'm glad~ ^^
One of my resolutions for this year is to be able to donate blood every three months,
this is to keep track that I eat properly and I'm healthy always~
The day had been busy too, but tomorrow will be even more busier.
Haven't write my paper... Haven't reply Dr P'ng's email... (@_@)

I miss Ah Hui and the master...
I miss Jun Jun...
I miss Hao... (T_T)

Short of Material Project

2010-01-11T18:53:00.003+08:00

Ten days after New Year

2010-01-11T18:30:00.003+08:00

It's just ten days after the new year,
my life had been like riding on a roller coaster.
There had been so many ups and downs for the past ten days.
It feels like, my life is not empty at all.
Everyday is so busy with different things,
and I've attended 6 church services within one week.
The church had been meeting up almost everyday after the new year. ^^
I'm feeling tired... (=.=)
Been overslept for the past few days,
thank God, still manage to start my day on time~

I still have one "brief" proposal to write;
still have two papers to complete in these two weeks;
still have thesis to write;
need to write an email to seek help from Dr P'ng;
have to do "Table of Contents" for Prof to have a look;
Campus plan is not done yet;
have to communicate with Marcus about kids kingdom things;
still have lots of journals to read;
minutes for band meeting is not done yet;
still have to talk to a lot of people to seek advice...

Wow, kinda overwhelm!! (>_<)
But I am really happy,
because I've not bomb my quiet time so far~ Phew~ ^^
and I've been prayerful compared to last year~ (yes, I cried out for God so many times because of different issues)
I also manage to spend time with a lot of people, hehe~ ^^

I can say, I've been having a fruitful life for the past ten days.
But, still, I need to be so much discipline in order for me to complete my different tasks.
Hope today can sleep at 8pm, so that tomorrow I can go for blood donation~ v(^_^)v

I feel like I'm having a bad day

2010-01-07T23:04:00.003+08:00

Ooh... I feel like I'm having a bad day.
I'm doing something that... Perhaps God will delight, but there is nothing in return but perhaps scolding or complains in the end.
I really don't feel good about this.

Hmm... The actual fact of me still awake at this moment, blogging, is that, I can't sleep...
Too many things are bothering me, and I do not know how to handle them,
even though I believe that God will help me through,
just that, emotionally, feel like swaying away a bit.
Phew...

If I've A Big Heart

2010-01-03T23:06:00.003+08:00

神啊，
說原諒就原諒，
談何容易？
當時的痛苦，我畢生難忘。
不是我不想原諒，也不是我不想去愛對不起我的人，
但是，當時的痛，過了這麽多年，還是這麽的真實。
每一次，當我再次打開傷口想要繼續療傷時，
傷口縂還是那麽痛，淌的血還是那麽的多。
有時候，我在想，此事何時了？
直到現在，當時的每一個場景都歷歷在目。
我恨不得我從來都沒在那出現過，
我恨不得我可以抹滅掉當時的記憶。
每一次，我都不知所措，
每一次，我都傷痕累累。
不，我還不累，
只是，每一次，我都感覺這麽痛不欲生。
好辛苦……

Boundaries

2010-01-03T22:46:00.002+08:00

God God,
I am wondering...
It feels like I did not set boundaries in building "buddy" friendships with brothers, that I've always let them tease me, and at the end of the day, it seems like they are taking me for granted...
I don't feel that much, but I do feel that, it has become more serious, like...
They will still talk about things even after I've sent the warnings.
Or, is it because I appreciate myself more as a sister, that's why I'm more sensitive towards their jokes?

生きることは辛いな～

2010-01-02T14:04:00.002+08:00

悲しい…
辛い…
心が痛いな…

I am fearful to go for the Schema Therapy,
because I know something is there in me,
that I will burst out and cry, non-stop;

I don't feel like going to the wedding,
I don't know why, and I don't want to think about it.
But in my heart, I understand that there are people that I don't feel like meeting over there.

When I first became a Christian, I've always thought that I've forgiven those who wronged me, and hurt me.
However, there are still hurts and pains living in my heart.
I thought, it's those hurts and pains that I need to deal with.
But I am so wrong.

When I was considering about attending my old school mate's wedding,
first thing came into my mind was how would the old school mates respond to me when they see me.
Perhaps, they have forgotten how much they have hurt me with their words,
or, they don't even remember saying hurtful words to me,
or, they don't even realized that I was hurt.
I even tried very hard to think about how would I respond to these conversations
"Do you have a boyfriend?"
"You are not into a relationship now? Are you sure? It's so impossible for Corrinne to not involve in relationship!!"

I'm glad that I didn't go.
It's not that I can avoid what people would say about me.
But it gives me time to really reflect upon my heart,
and come to the realization that, I haven't forgive some of them,
I haven't let go of my past...

It's kinda hurtful to realize that I haven't forgive the Red Cresent Society committees that have said nasty words about me.
It's also hurtful to realize that I still haven't let go the past that Choon Hong and Sheng Jie who are quite close to me had not stand up to defend me.
It's hurtful to realize that I feel so unfair in my heart every time when I see them acting like nothing had happened when they see me after we've grown up.
Honestly, the evil desire in my heart wanted so much for them to feel guilty about the hurt that they've done on me.
Sometimes, in my heart, I just want to show them that there are so many people who would love me and appreciate me as who I am.
And the most painful thing is to see how I've not been acting like what God wants me to be, I've not been dealing this thing according to God's way!

I feel really silly, stupid, and foolish...

Wedding

2010-01-01T21:56:00.003+08:00

Gosh... I don't really like this...
I'm still deciding whether to go for a friend's wedding,
and I have to confess that I've forgotten about it.
Another friend called up and asked me to go.
Honestly, I feel so reluctant to go... (T_T)
I've not been seeing these friends for decades,
and I feel really insecure.

Hmmm... Should I go? Should I not go??

Birthday Gift

2009-12-28T16:15:00.005+08:00

(T_T) I've been delaying this...
Supposed to be done much earlier,
but the lazy bugs are attacking.

First time making earrings

Sick...

2009-12-27T18:43:00.002+08:00

The other day, I was happily cleaning my room.
Part of the things that I've thrown are the medicines.
I look at the whole strip of Uphamol650 and thought, I will never get sick anytime soon.
Who knows, after few days of Christmas celebration, I'm down with fever...
Hope I can get well soon and am able to complete the year well.

Christmas Eve '09

2009-12-25T20:06:00.005+08:00

Amazing! It's really amazing!
Finally, I managed to join my unimates for our reunion on the Christmas eve.
Why is it so amazing?
It seems like I've been missing for almost 3 years.
I haven't been seeing them for almost 3 years, except Lee Ming, whom I've met her before she left to Japan.

First time seeing June, one year after she was being adopted by Jason.
June is really cute and adorable! ^^

First time to Ka Heng's house, how wonderful it is~

Great food was prepared by Jason as usual
Gifts exchange was great as well,
erm... People were measuring the weight of the gifts to determine whether they are good gifts... (=_=")
We really had a great time, and I do enjoy the whole thing.
After 3 years, finally Fei Teng and I can sleep over together again~ ^^

Puzzles~

2009-12-24T11:11:00.016+08:00

Got these from Caesar during gift exchange yesterday night~
Finally learned the trick to solve all.
Hope that I can solve Whye Leng's one too~

Hmm... I'm not crazy, I just like to solve puzzles

Putrajaya Night Marathon

2009-12-24T10:59:00.002+08:00

Decided to join this.
It's a night marathon, night view in Putrajaya is superb!

Seok Mui, Kwang Shan and I had decided to join. ^^
Haven't been running for many years, we'll go for 7.7km first.

Had my first practice today, really really need to pick up.
Current time is 1km for 10:47, used to do 1.5km for 10:09 during my schooling time...
Is it possible to make it to 30mins for 7.7 km??? ^^

Princess and The Frog

2009-12-22T22:58:00.003+08:00

童話故事，只想過要約女性朋友看，怎知，竟然是和前輩一起看。

故事超棒的，我還是覺得，兒童不宜~
童話故事就是童話故事，一點都不真實。
不過，超搞笑就是了，很喜歡！
而且，我發現，看了這部片之後，我越來越喜歡青蛙了！！^^

Bodyguards and Assasins

2009-12-22T22:29:00.003+08:00

那天看了《十月圍城》，
蠻震撼的一部戯。
想看，是因爲他們的卡斯還蠻大的，
但是，看了，有點後悔，
並沒有期待中的那麽好。
太過藝術了，從戯的開始就有點沉悶。
不過，到最後，還是蠻精彩，
感覺上，導演好像是要以最後的高潮來遮蓋前面的不足。
結局真的是很感動。
身為平民的他們，竟然可以為囯壯烈犧牲，
果然還賺取了不少眼淚。

不過，我倒是看得有點反胃……
對我來説，最精彩的莫過於四大天王裏的兩位天王了！
張學友才出現那幾分鈡就被人給暗殺了！
而黎明，造型超搞笑的！他出現的每一幕都有人在笑……(=..=)

總的來說，我後悔花了那十塊錢……

Spring Cleaning

2009-12-18T20:35:00.012+08:00

Had been struggling with my room.
It became worse after coming back from Singapore.
This is just part of it...

And look at the wires and all the unwanted clothes

Took me one whole day to clean up~
Been throwing more than 20 bags of rubbish...

Giving up stuffs as well
This is rare stuff, with Intel Pentium D and Asus motherboard,
really rare item... They were to be donated to my beloved, Gabrielle

I spared these two~

Swimming

2009-12-17T18:58:00.004+08:00

隔了好久好久，終于又開始游泳了~
昨天隔了這麽久再次下水時，是有點害怕，
可是游了一下，就適應了，沒這麽害怕了。

剛才原本想和珍妮花完時間就去游泳的，
但是天公不作美，竟然下起大雨來了。
不過，感謝神，和珍妮花完時間后，雨也剛好停了。
今天比昨天游得久一點，
但是，身邊有一對水鴛鴦，超礙眼的！
要談情説愛就不要在泳池中央擋著人家的去路……
還被他們弄得有點掃興呢！
不過，我還是會堅持每一天做運動的~^^

New Haircut~ Nerdy go!!

2009-12-17T15:27:00.006+08:00

Went for a haircut and spa yesterday~
Had a brand new nerdy look^^

Before cut~

Look like wearing helmet right??

Gabrielle's old hair

Gabrielle's new hair

New Toy

2009-12-14T18:17:00.003+08:00

Her name is "Gimmo"
She shines at night~

生日第三环~

2009-11-29T11:41:00.013+08:00

嘻嘻~昨天终于如愿吃到螃蟹了！
虽然并不比想象中好吃，但是，谢谢那两个请客的！
吃饱后，直接去唱K，尽兴！

有人吃得很不干净……浪费好多蟹肉！

传说中吃了螃蟹会变猪八戒的人

看俊俊的样子

摇滚界非常出名的垃圾婆~

摇滚界非常出名的垃圾虫，试拍了很多次，终于有一张是可以见人的了！

这个人太不负责任了！拍了这么一张烂照片就走人了……

期待今晚的Girls Only Night！^ ^

路上驚魂

2009-11-23T11:51:00.002+08:00

驚險！前兩天真是驚險！
其實……我是不太喜歡開車的……
有時候，當你想到處走走時，開車是一個很不錯的“消遣”
但是，大多數時候，我還是不太喜歡。

那天，開了貝爾的車去吃晚餐，還好~遇到微微的塞車。
晚上回家時，駕著小灰在路上奔馳。
這可能是最後一次開小灰了吧~
但是，還是有點懶懶的，所以開得蠻快（還是不敢太快，因爲小灰的主人就在旁邊……）
希望小灰的主人沒被嚇壞吧~

第二天，更是驚險！
忘了帶重要的東西去教會，只好向家恩借電單車了。
已經有幾年沒騎電單車了，戰戰兢兢……
家恩的電單車是很有力，但是，開到八十時，電單車竟然震動起來了……（飆汗）
但是，總算安全到達目的地。

以後，還會開車嗎？
我想，需要時還是會開的……
不然，我好想遠離方向盤和離合器……

Birthday Celebrations

2009-11-22T20:32:00.033+08:00

經過一個好長、好充實的周末~
星期五，在二姐不知情之下，我逃跑了！！！
逃到大姐家是幸福的事~^^
雖然這次去那裏是想要為萱萱慶祝她的一嵗生日，
但是，反而好像是在為我慶生。
大姐做了很多cupcakes給我~

"Happy Birthday To You"

也好久沒有和大姐的孩子們花這麽長的時間了~

文澤

文萱

之後，飛奔去校園組的活動，原來，一切都是騙人的……
潘叔叔做簡介時，很直截了當地說，
"Today we are here solely to celebrate Corrinne's birthday."
（今天，我們在這裡只爲了慶祝Corrinne的生日。）

榴蓮芝士蛋糕

這一着，真是出乎我意料！上當啦！竟然被他們擺了一道！
不過，他們的付出，讓我非常感動~

心怡~

Nikki

貝爾

Raynium

潘叔叔

之後，又飛車去“Out of Africa”和同事聚餐，
其實是老闆娘請客~
很不客氣地吃了很多，好飽！好飽！

我和我的Strawberry Magarita，不是很好喝的飲料……

蝦類

不知是什麽動物的肝，不太喜歡，有點噁心

牛肉卷

好好吃的炸花枝

薯泥

紅蘿蔔

鹿肉派

羊肉

海鮮

令人大跌眼鏡的甜品，African Queen

而且，大家都……好瘋狂……好瘋狂……

學姐說，想讓她男朋友看到她叛逆的一面……

還有，威旗和慇權手足情深……

老闆娘也來一套……

然後，又趕著把車還給貝爾，和金屬男飛車下KL幫俊慶祝生日。
大姐做的蛋糕終于派上用場啦！^^
而我們的毅俊也終于長大一嵗啦~ （和我同歲一個星期~）

謝謝你這一年來的守護，還有時常都為朋友着想。
俊俊是最有義氣的朋友了！
有這麽一個朋友，真是我們的福氣~(^_^)

Bio Malaysia 2009 ~ Last Day

2009-11-20T12:26:00.011+08:00

Last day is a relaxing day~
Went early, manage to do my quiet time somewhere~

Got honorarium as well, hehe, is that consider my birthday present???

Dr Wang and Adrian joined the Eppendorf pippetting game again...

This is the candy that I've won!! Yay, chocolates!!

Eppendorf new products - Research plus v(*_*)v
Looks good~ but very expensive... I think it's worth to spend that much on pippets, must pester boss to buy few sets for us, haha~

We got two silvers for both our posters, with the kit

Had lunch with Kelvin, had great time together.
However, was called to go back to lab earlier to handle a clinical sample... (T_T)
It's negative!!! And I couldn't have more fun in Bio Malaysia because of this negative sample!! (>_<)

Bio Malaysia 2009 ~ BioDinner

2009-11-20T12:21:00.004+08:00

Was invited for this one~

Prof brought us to reflexology~ Nice, yet I'm still not so used to massage, don't really like it.
Dinner has great performances, great speeches from the ministers, and of course nice food~
But we got 0 gold this time... Disappointed...

Bio Malaysia 2009 ~ Second Day

2009-11-20T11:38:00.023+08:00

Was called to help out during Bio Malaysia 2009,
I went for two days.
Again, interesting inventions had been presented,
and I also grabbed a lot of goody bags~ ^^

Welcome~

This is "fermented" Nata de Coco, forgot what's it's function, but it sure looks gross!!!

Senior holding a book on herbs and skin care

A heavy metal remover system

Mixed fruits and veges candies, was said to make it to encourage children to eat more veges and fruits

"Froshi" > What a lame name, it's actually frozen sushi, doubt it's freshness...

This is good, lipbalm made from red fruits, I've tried it, not bad~ Took a sample home too ^^

Herbs jelly gum, not sweetened candy, too much of gelatin inside...

Beta-carotene extracted from palm oil mill effluent, recycle waste...

Pills made from kadok, have got some anti-cancer properties

Bricks made of waste also

ELISA, forgot what it's for again...

Products made from this "Kenaf" plant

"Begonia", nice plant for display

InnoBio's plan

Eppendorf tubes

This is what I ate for my lunch, very nice~

Got a chocolate from competition of pippetting in Eppendorf, they are launching their new products

This trip is quite beneficial,
gained not only a lot of goodies, but also a lot of knowledge!

Oh~ And, met my senior from UPM, Abang Jeff.
Really happy to see him again, and of course glad to hear that he's moving on in life~
Wanna go for his wedding, but insecure ne~
Guess I'm the only Chinese junior who got invited.
Saw Min also, but couldn't say hi to him as I was attending to my boss that time...

Blood Plus

2009-11-17T13:29:00.005+08:00

聽説這個故事很久了，只是從前電視機播放時，一直都沒有時間追。
最近，通過我的好姐妹，終于可以好好欣賞這部故事了。
開始時，總會覺得這部動漫很噁心。
確實是很噁心，就如片名所描述的，整部動漫都是和血有關聯。

開始看時，好奇心真的是很強，所以上了Wiki看一看整個故事内容和來源。
我覺得，看了Wiki之後，才讓我真正了解故事中所發生的事情：
- 爲什麽小夜一定要用她的血來剷除翼手；
- 爲什麽翼手踫到小夜的血會結晶化；
- 哈吉是從哪裏來的……；
- 爲什麽會有騎士；
等等的小細節，是必須知道的，不然，觀衆會看得一塌糊塗。

昨晚終于看完了，很沉重……
好像《我們的存在》那樣，這個故事讓我的心情掉在半空中，
無法解釋，也無法抒發。
就是，不知該如何是好的感覺。
非常同情故事裏的主人翁，因爲他們所必須經歷的坎坷。
是……常人無法想象的。
但是，激發人的是，可以看到他們如何法對方，
還有他們的團結，真的，如果沒有真正的愛和關心，
我想，他們不可能成功剷除翼手吧！
可是，雖然故事有個完美的結局（除了哈吉生死未卜），
想到他們所經歷的，還蠻沉重的。
真的是無法想象的可悲！
還有他們的“なんくるないさ”，還真的對觀衆有一定的效用。

我們人，可以一下子失去身邊這麽多人嗎？
我想，我們是幸福的。但是，我不排除世界上也有很多人失去了很多自己的親人。
好難想象，他們是如何站起來的。
我倒是覺得自己太幸運了，因爲無論發生什麽事，我身邊都有很多持續支持我的人。
這一些，都是誰賜的呀？真的是讓我樂開了！

如果想抽時間來思考的話，這部動漫是值得推薦的，
可以讓你得到很多啓示~還有可以讓你有許多空間思考。

Boysband

2009-11-17T09:43:00.005+08:00

一直以來，偶像樂團都和我拉扯不上什么關系。
原因就是，我不欣賞他們。
說難聽一點就是，他們是一群只靠臉蛋吃飯的家伙，
不過，我也承認，間中我有喜歡過“嵐”那一下下子，o(∩_∩)o...

最近，我發現的太遲了！
從來都不認識V6的我，開始從他們的節目認識了這支“老班”
然后發現了這把好嗓音！
真的是很棒！很少偶像派的可以唱歌唱得這么棒。

盡情欣賞坂本昌行的三首歌，都是我的最愛～

I Need Space...

2009-11-13T15:38:00.003+08:00

Sometimes I feel really struggle to work with people.
This is something that I really have to overcome.
I'm too used to be very effective during my school time,
and this made me being very independent.
I don't need anyone to aid me in whatever that I do.
I can complete them all by myself!
But coming into the Kingdom and also the so called "working world",
I do feel really struggle,
as most of the times I need to deal with people,
and there are more and more things that I can't do by myself.
Sometimes I do feel like I've become more and more ineffective.
No, it just that God wants me to learn to rely on Him, firstly,
and rely on people, secondly.
However, the feeling of my space being robbed had never subsided.
A lot of times, I still feel that I'm most effective when I handle things all by myself.
But I can't deny that, I've learned the most when I work with others.

Oh man~ How long will I take to learn to be more people oriented?
How long will I need to learn to work with people, not being too independent?
When will I learn to be submissive then? (@_@)
God's effort in moulding me is sure tough! (>_<)

Heavy

2009-11-08T22:41:00.003+08:00

Just came back from spending time with my old friend.
I really appreciate all the honest and deep talks that we were having just now.

Honestly, I felt burdened as I go through peoples' lives these few weeks.
Like what I said in facebook, it's all too draining for me.
I guess Jesus went through the same thing when He chose to die for us on the cross.
All the emotional pains that He had to bear.
I'm not saying that I'm bearing the emotional pains,
just that, when I hear different people sharing about their lives,
I really feel for them.
I hope that I could do something better to ease their pain.
But, perhaps it's something that they have to go through as they are growing in life.

However, I do really feel burdened in my heart as I listen to different stories.
Of how one of my friends struggle with family situation, it really torn her apart;
there are friends who struggle in relationship problem;
and there are also those who struggle in life.
I really hope that I can bring the gospel to them and introduce this Mighty God to them to help them overcome issues in life.
I really hope to see them living in hope again.

Happy Birthday Metal Boy

2009-11-08T02:45:00.002+08:00

嗯……雖然不好意思，但是，到了這種時候，又是感性的時候了……呵呵呵~
雖然認識金屬男才那短短一年，
不過，這個人還蠻容易捉摸的，哈哈~
所以友情才可以持續到現在吧！

嗯……又是說謝詞的時候了。
可以當你的好朋友是一件不錯的事情。

謝謝你時常載送我去上學，
尤其是在我有經濟困難時，可以省掉那一、兩塊錢對我來説是很多的了！

謝謝你時常帶我去吃好吃的，
從蕉賴的扣肉米粉到龍的傳人的擔擔麵，
呼呼~可以享受美食真的是人生的一大享受！

噢，還有，謝謝你煮的日本咖喱和Carbonara，
真的是很棒很棒！^^（如果你以後可以對女朋友這麽細心一定會很好嘀~）

最重要的是，謝謝你介紹了毅俊這麽有義氣的朋友，
還有葉音這麽玩得、談得的朋友。
他們已經是我生命中的其中一個寶藏了~

見到你可以進入新的公司工作，開始新的生活，
還有你兩只樂團都有進度，確實是為你感到非常開心！
趁年輕時，就盡情的做你喜歡做的事情吧！
我相信你們一定會很成功的！

還有……我給你的生日願望：
快快找個人安定下來吧！^^

生日快樂！希望你可以繼續很豁達的過快樂的生活！

Another "Shopping Spree"~

2009-11-06T20:35:00.013+08:00

After the small group meet up today,
I actually went around The Gardens and also Mid Valley.
Went into an art shop, saw some interesting things.
There are a lot of materials that I've been looking for,
but the price is not too affordable too.
I'll compare the price in Singapore then only will I decide where should I buy them.

Anyway, bought these belts for RM5 each.

Never thought that I can find something that cheap.

Went to the Canaan Land to look for the Quiet Time book for my small group.
Finally found them! One old version and four repackaged ones.
We are gonna do the study on the book of Acts!

Since they are having sales,
I bought one TNIV Bible for myself too.

I'm too excited about it and start decorating my new Bible.

However, cut my finger during the process...(T_T)

Ouch! Bible really does cut! ^^
Oh, ya, I got a free CD from my purchase too~

心中的負擔減半

2009-11-05T08:37:00.003+08:00

這幾個星期都好累好累！
昨天，終于解決了一件事情，
總算松了一口氣。
拖了整一年，希望可以快快結束！

好多人都叫我繼續念書，
他們都給了我很大的支持和鼓勵。
還有貝爾的發電廠昨晚也很hyper，
非常感謝他給我的鼓勵和建議。

I'm Stuck

2009-11-03T23:10:00.003+08:00

Here am I, again, I'm feeling lost
Really feel stuck...

Ever since I have to let go the dream that I long pursued,
I really don't know where am I heading to whenever I come to the crossroad in my life.

Let me just do some calculations of the situation that I'm having right now.

TO DO OR NOT TO DO PHD

TO DO:
1. Will struggle in terms of pressure, time management, and it's not easy. (Think if I start work, it'll still be the same)
2. Might not have sufficient time and energy to take care of ministry.
3. Can't be independent, income not stable.
4. Will stuck here in the same lab for another two years.
5. I need to take up more responsibility because it seems like I'll be the oldest Dengue people left in the lab. Need to train other Dengue people to do Dengue diagnostic tests.
6. My salary after I graduated as a PhD will be at least RM 5,000.00 I guess. Compared to Master, I can only get minimum RM 2,500.00.
7. I'll be doing the same project, which doesn't require me to start all over again.
8. Prof had already offered me, even asking me to write proposal to apply for grant.

NOT TO DO:
1. I can be independent, financially stable.
2. Can gain experience in the working world.
3. I will have to start all over again if I want to continue PhD in the future, which will be harder, and it might take at least 3 years to 5 years to complete.
4. I can spend more time on Moncher, however, financial wise, can't really support Moncher.
5. Might move on to Singles? Can gain more new experience then.
6. Don't have to read too much.
7. Will be reaching out to different people by that time.

Hmm... I really don't know what to do, which to choose...

God, please show me the way~

Reversi

2009-11-03T23:03:00.004+08:00

I haven't been practicing,
am looking for challenger to practice...

This was the outcome last night,

I played "Angel and Demon" with myself.
I can only win by using white... Sigh...
Still a long way to go

Break Free

2009-10-26T13:24:00.003+08:00

O Lord my God,

Feeling depressed, even though I really had a great week last week.
Somehow, I am feeling that my body is wasting away.
It had been a tiring week, and most of the times, I easily fallen asleep everywhere I go.
This is so unhealthy. But I am feeling very tired.

God, after the reflections and all the spending times with my best friends,
as if we haven't been really spending time.
Yes, it's true. I had been struggling for a year.
And I am really happy to say that God, with your love and your grace, I am finally break free!
I know a lot were asking,"What is happening to Corrinne? She is not as energetic and cheerful as before."
It's true. But I am really glad to say that I have picked it up.
I am so sorry for all my best friends, because I have shut the door to let them in.
And now, I feel so refreshed after all the honest talks.
It's like, finally, I am freed.
Freed from the negativity and all the guilts that had immobilized me.

God, I am really thankful.
I saw how you always work the impossible to possible.
You've put a lot of small victories in my life to cheer me up.
You put different people in my life to inspire me.
You put different people in my life to teach me.
You put different people in my life to love them.
Because of that, I manage to pick it up.

However, God, I know that at times I sinned against you because of my foolishness.
Honestly, I feel guilty.
I really don't want to be enslaved by all the negativity and the guilt.
God, I earnestly pray that, you can set me free, and please, turn the situation around.
And I am grateful, that throughout all the mistakes that I've made,
I can grow.
Help me, please, to become a Godly woman that you want me to be.
Help me resist the temptations and my evil desires.
Help me to be honest with my feelings and my thoughts.
Help me to be vulnerable.
Help me to love, and grow in faith.

God, I love you~
In Jesus' name I pray, Amen.

Singapore! Here I come!

2009-10-25T22:46:00.003+08:00

I want to do this every year,
to celebrate my birthday in Singapore.
Reason being?
There are people who are precious to me over there.
And I hope that she can be the first to wish me "happy birthday"^^

I'm gonna go this year too!
I'm really looking forward to see the Christians in Singapore church,
and I can't wait to spend time with my love ones.
I must plan well, and packed my schedule with spending time with different people.
At the same time, get spiritual refreshed is important too.

SINGAPORE! HERE I COME!

Excited! Really excited!! \(^O^)/

Weird...

2009-10-20T09:10:00.006+08:00

這是一切怪異的開始……
This is the beginning of all odds...
“鏘！鏘！”
"Jeng! Jeng!"

曾幾何時，我們已經變成每個星期一出來聚會的好朋友了~
Since when, we've become best friends who will hang out on every Monday~

說過我們要存錢的，所以出門時，消費都不算“太大。”
We wanted to save money, therefore we do not spend "too much" when we hang out.
看了《Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatball》
After watching "Cloudy With A Chance Of Meatball"
我們直接從谷中城殺到Ikea去吃真正的Meatball。
We drove from Mid Valley to Ikea to enjoy the real meatballs
~好幸福~o(>_<)o
~Shiawase~ o(>_<)o

哦！我們十五分鐘内掃淨那盤肉丸~
Oops! We finished the meatballs in just 15mins~

THE BIRTHDAY BOY

2009-10-17T11:51:00.004+08:00

JIROさん、お誕生日おめでとう～

One Two! One Two Three!

Punk Idol Birthday May 10
Oh Lefty February 20
My Hero December 13
Hey Brother October 17

WILD SOUL! Happy Happy Birthday
WILD SOUL! Happy Happy Birthday
WILD SOUL! Happy Happy Birthday Boy

今年もまた　Happy Happy Birthday
オマエの為に　Happy Happy Birthday
響き渡れ　Happy Happy Birthday　Yeah

50's TEDDY BOY TEDDY GIRL
60's PATTIE BOYD LONDNERS
70's ONE PEACE ONE LOVE
80's MATERIALなJ-GIRL

HE'S SO CUTE! Happy Happy Birthday
HE'S SO CUTE! Happy Happy Birthday
HE'S SO CUTE! Happy Happy Birthday Boy
今日で一つ　Happy Happy Birthday
大人になる　Happy Happy Birthday
君に贈る　Happy Happy Birthday Yeah

KISSの嵐 GIFTの山 CAKEが運ばれたら
Blow the candles and make a wish!
Birthday Boy Birthday Girl

HE'S SO CUTE! Happy Happy Birthday
HE'S SO CUTE! Happy Happy Birthday
HE'S SO CUTE! Happy Happy Birthday Boy
今夜もまた　Happy Happy Birthday
誰かのため　Happy Happy Birthday
歌ってあげる　Happy Happy Birthday　Yeah

PK's Farewell

2009-10-12T11:55:00.020+08:00

My faithful listener is going to leave us...
He'll be posted to Sabah as a pharmacist.
Poor thing, we are gonna miss him so much!
Bid farewell for him last night,
brought him to Coloseum, a nice steak house.
We had great food and great fellowship, great sharings too.
I don't feel emotional, it has not yet come
But I think I will get very emotional after he left... (T_T)

We'll miss you so badly...
So long, farewell~

The Coloseum

Those who present...

The food...

The sharings...

PK, be strong and courageous, never give up!

PECIPTA

2009-10-11T00:07:00.047+08:00

Went for PECIPTA last Friday
It was a Science and Technology Invention and Innovation exhibition.
I was there to take care of my Prof's booth.
It was a dramatic day.
Purposely wear formal on that day, and my feet hurt!!
Got a bonus from Prof, but spent those money on a pair of new slippers because of my painful legs!!

Here are some of the interesting stuffs exhibited...

1. Multipurpose parachute or camp

2. Ecodye (Environmental safe fabric dye)

3. Another Ecosafe batik dye

4. Some water treatment thingy

5. Some nutritional juice in powder form

6. New composed Malay children songs

7. Piping for easier monitoring of water flow

8. Not too sure what is this, but guess it's something to do with petrol

9. Robotic chair, and the monkey on it is fake

10. Forgot what is this for...

11. New discovered natural compounds from Misai Kucing, said to have inhibitory effect on the generation of new capillaries in tumor cells

12. Lycopene from pink guava, thought to have anti-cancer and anti-viral effect, not sure whether it's true...

13. Forgot what they call this, but contains lots of Vitamin C

14. Horseshoe crab...

15. Cockel! Don't know for what...

16. Dragon fruit, essential oil produced from the seeds seems to be more nutritional and beneficial than the flaxseed oil

17. Capsule phone for children

18. Wood made from some water plants, forgot what it calls

19. I thought this is some antique car, who knows.... It's a pepper harvester!

20. The chemists showed how to change a copper coin to a gold coin~

21. They also showed how paper was not burnt

22. Leeches used for medical treatment, to suck all the dirty blood

Beef Noodle in S17

2009-10-08T09:08:00.004+08:00

This is a must try, cost RM7.50
Can request for more soup~

Ah Bo

2009-10-08T09:04:00.004+08:00

I'm afraid of dogs,
but I have a great encounter with this super friendly dog.

The owner said she kept sitting at where I was sitting the other day,
funny~ ^^

GLAY

2009-10-08T09:00:00.003+08:00

Look what I've got...

TSUNAMI AT HAEUNDAE

2009-09-28T23:52:00.001+08:00

I thought I told some of the people that “Tsunami” is not nice by looking at their preview. However, I went for that movie today. It’s a really touching movie. I cried when I see how most of them in the movie, some of them didn’t seem to appreciate relationships with one another in the beginning. When disaster came, they started to realize how much they love their loved ones.

I cried,
When I saw how parents are willing to give up their lives in order to save their child;
When I saw how nearly separated couples started to appreciate one another after the misunderstanding;
When I saw how people started to appreciate one another when the other person started to sacrifice for the good of others;
When I saw how a child who thought that he’s useless, earned the award of bravery during the disaster, but the mother will never be able to see how the son shines anymore;
When I saw how a rescuer is willing to give up his life for his enemy.
These are love, and it requires sacrifice.

Honestly, I was really overwhelmed by the movie. However, I held back my tears, because I knew if I were to start to cry, it’ll be a non-stop crying episode for me.

Yes, recently I’ve seen too much, and I felt too much about life.
I’m not saying that I’m without sins. But when I look at my loved ones are trying their best to degrade their body, I felt hurt for God, and I felt for them, because I know that in all their pleasure by indulging in their own sins, they must have been bearing unbearable emotions as well. Emotions of wanting to be accepted by others; wanting to be loved by others; wanting to be approved by others; wanting to just put themselves first in their own lives. All these are too overwhelming for me. I felt for them. Really. And I was asking God, how can I save?

At the other hand, seeing how people are going through what I’ve gone through pains my heart as well. I really don’t wish to see them in pain. But it can’t be help, I know. And I understand that I can only be a friend for them; share their struggles; being able to be there to empathize them; and also to comfort them. Have I done a great job in comforting and listening? I don’t know. One thing I know, I gained a new friendship out of this.

First Fruit

2009-09-22T19:52:00.002+08:00

Oh well~
Let’s witness another young Christian starting her journey with God.
Not only attending church services and joining small group meet ups or spending time with different sisters,
But also, this is her first contribution to God!

We’ll see more of her action for God in the future~

New Soul Being Saved!

2009-09-22T19:50:00.003+08:00

Last Sunday was Raynium’s baptism!

It was really encouraging.
Raynium had been coming for campus’ activities for quite some time.
At first, he was just an intimate boy, who doesn’t talk much,
What more about sharing in English in front of so many people.
But we saw his life changes after he studied the Bible.
He started to talk more, even being able to share in front of people using English.

It’s an encouraging moment for Calvin as well,
As this is his first fruit!
Calvin had been through a lot of ups and downs in his own life.
We all witnessed his changes as well.
Seeing him being able to bring new soul to the Kingdom of God really made us rejoice together with him.
He had been a faithful friend of everyone, and I’m glad that God had given him Raynium.

Every time, seeing people who do not know God started to learn about God,
And then, during their baptism, hearing them uttering the word saying that Jesus is their Lord,
It really warms our hearts and God’s heart too.

Yes! Campus! Go! Go! Go! ^ ^

I've Never Been To Me

2009-09-18T22:35:00.001+08:00

好想把這首歌獻給屋友……
我有在努力學唱，
為的，是唱給你聼……

Hey lady, you lady, cursing at your life
You're a discontented mother and a regimented wife
I've no doubt you dream about the things you'll never do
But, I wish someone had talked to me
Like I wanna talk to you.....

Oh, I've been to Georgia and California and anywhere I could run
I took the hand of a preacher man and we made love in the sun
But I ran out of places and friendly faces because I had to be free
I've been to paradise but I've never been to me

Please lady, please lady, don't just walk away
'Cause I have this need to tell you why I'm all alone today
I can see so much of me still living in your eyes
Won't you share a part of a weary heart that has lived million lies....

Oh, I've been to Niece and the Isle of Greece while I've sipped champagne on a yacht
I've moved like Harlow in Monte Carlo and showed 'em what I've got
I've been undressed by kings and I've seen some things that a woman ain't supposed to see
I've been to paradise, but I've never been to me

[spoken]
Hey, you know what paradise is?
It's a lie, a fantasy we create about people and places as we'd like them to be
But you know what truth is?
It's that little baby you're holding, it's that man you fought with this morning
The same one you're going to make love with tonight
That's truth, that's love......

Sometimes I've been to crying for unborn children that might have made me complete
But I，I took the sweet life, I never knew I'd be bitter from the sweet
I've spent my life exploring the subtle whoring that costs too much to be free
Hey lady......
I've been to paradise,
But I've never been to me

滂沱大雨

2009-09-18T22:31:00.001+08:00

最近傍晚都是滂沱大雨。
今天，又變成了落湯鷄。
心中難免會詛咒，
“都是那個重色輕友的糟老頭！”

有種被抛棄的感覺。
是我最近被寵壞了吧！
真糟糕！
不是其他人的錯，
是我自己的命運，
每個人都有他們的自由和生活方式，
我，不該怨人……

刺

2009-09-18T22:26:00.001+08:00

去年的這個時候，
我把心中的一根刺狠狠地拔走了。
失策的是，
我一直都忘了以神來填補心中被刺穿了洞的缺口。
反而，我用其他東西來填補了……
而現在，我又必須把那其他東西拔走，
好讓我可以和神永遠都可以緊緊的擁抱。
害怕、痛苦、掙扎。
這一切，或許我沒發覺，
但，卻是我必須經歷的路程。

After Effect

2009-09-13T06:37:00.003+08:00

好辛苦、好辛苦……
好慘……
整晚只睡了一個小時。

不知是該感謝神給我這樣的體質，
還是該怨他呢？
每一次喝了咖啡就倒頭大睡，
但是每一次喝了啤酒就患上失眠症，
完全睡不着。
應該是遺傳了爸爸的“千杯不醉”吧~(=_=;)

其实，早前约会之后去了Endless Eternal的最后一场gig
场面是有点混乱，
但是很开心可以见到以前的班友~

情緒失控

2009-09-10T20:18:00.001+08:00

我的心情好差好差……
不是一個很好的一天。
肚子很不舒服，但還是要撐著身子上學，
還有報告還沒交。
我真的是絞盡腦汁，終于把東西做完了，
老闆卻已經離開了……無奈……

一整天都不想站，也不想走。
我的腦袋已經渾濁得連什麽都想不到了。
又遲到了，是因爲腦袋空白，計算錯了時間。
而且，肚子真的很撐不下去，所以走慢了……
但是，我很忍受不了人家的不耐煩。
我最近，很承受不了這樣的壓力！
所以，連遲到的原因都懶得解釋。

在快要哭出來的時候，
我卻做了我覺得很笨的事情。
人家問，“膽結石會怎樣？”
“會痛咯……”
我的回答真的很白癡吧！
我都覺得好笑……
真的是哭笑不得！
我真的真的好想哭出來，
但是我卻為自己的愚蠢感到很可笑！

還有……有人不會種花卻學人種花，
看花朵可以撐多久。
我想，如果花真的死了，我應該會被責怪吧，
因爲，不管發生什麽事情，人總是要找其他人背黑鍋。

其實，我也感到内疚。
我的心情真的很差！
或許燒傷了身邊的人吧。
可能，有人會說不介意，也不放在心上，
但是，我還是感到不好意思。對不起！
請給我一丁點兒的空間……

神啊！我感到非常非常的傷心！
我感到非常非常的透不過氣！
又習慣性的把自己的心情壓抑著，
爆發了，連我爲什麽事而感到傷心都不知道……
我要從何數起？

是因爲我覺得自己在學業上追不上而感傷？
還是因爲自己不知道未來會選擇哪一條路而感傷？
或是因爲看到身邊的人的墮落而感傷？
抑或是因爲見到從前好朋友的照片而為他的不理智感傷？
還是想起自己曾傷人多深而感傷？
又或是為自己的情緒化而感傷？

我不知道……
我只知道，哭了出來，心情也舒服了一點……

開心~^^

2009-09-07T18:00:00.003+08:00

最近心情起伏還蠻大的，
但是，最近的日子卻過得很開心。

可以開著車在路上飛馳是一種喜樂；
可以不戴眼鏡是一種喜樂；
可以穿自己喜愛的鞋是一種喜樂；
可以認識到新朋友是一種喜樂；
可以坐下來和自己不太喜歡的人談話並關心他們是一種喜樂；
可以和好朋友一同躲在房裏禱告是一種喜樂；
可以為身邊的人服務是一種喜樂；
可以和朋友們一同看戯是一種喜樂；
可以品嘗美食是一種喜樂；
可以製作出許多成品是一種喜樂；
可以躲在家裏做家務是一種喜樂；
可以看到姐妹們的成長也是一種喜樂；
可以受到不同的人照顧是一種幸福；
可以鼓勵人也是一種幸福~

雖然校方還是沒給我生活費，
但是，只要身邊有可以去愛的人，
一切痛苦或掙扎也會變成一種喜樂和幸福！

糟透

2009-09-03T19:39:00.001+08:00

最近的心情好差……
我知道是前奏，
但是，雖然經歷了這麽多次，
還是會有點不知所措。

每一天，每一天，
心情都大起大落。
不是忐忑不安，就是很興奮，好像有什麽好事即將發生。
但是，就是這一些不同的心情讓我感到莫名其妙。
有時候，真的只是想要一個人靜靜的，
但是，我還是放不下“一定要人家看到我的笑臉”的原則。

對，我希望，這張笑臉可以為其他人帶來快樂。
所以無論如何，我都要以笑臉面對身邊的人，
讓他們也可以從中放下他們的憂愁，以開心的心情面對他們身邊的人。

Tiring Night, Scary Dreams

2009-09-02T17:06:00.004+08:00

I had a tiring night....
It's not because I have to drive somebody's car back,
nor it's because of taking care of Qing.
I'm just having too many dreams in one night,
and all were exhausting.

I dreamed that I became disabled.
I was crying so hard with an unsurrendered heart.
It was tough to be a disabled.
And the feeling was so real.
However, Sim was there to comfort me.

The next chapter in my dream was I was running from one block to the other block,
and from one floor to another floor.
I couldn't get to the right place where my room was located.
And there was once that I was stuck in a corner,
with many dogs eyed at me.
That was real scary, even though the dogs were being bound.
Again, I screamed all my heart out, and as loud as I could.
My best friends came to rescue.
And I continued to run again looking for my room, until I woke up.

It's really crazy and exhausting!
But I felt really really weird having those dreams.
They were so real, and so in touch with my feelings.

I don't know what do these dreams tell.
One thing I know, I felt warm in my heart,
with the company of all my close friends all the while;
and also the help and love from my closest friends.
Unconditional love is what I would like to show to all of you.

MSC

2009-08-24T08:29:00.001+08:00

Ever since we went under the leadership of Burt and Whye Leng under this MSC (Marrieds, Singles, and Campus) ministry, I’ve a lot of opportunity to talk to singles again. Not that when I was in campus I couldn’t talk to those singles leaders, but right now, under one leadership, we are being brought closer to one another, and I even have the chance to join the singles small group. Well, at first I was insecure, but what was in my mind was, I really need to get to know them well, and build friendship with them, because I know they will definitely build me up so much more.

I can say that, when I was with the women main leaders, I learned a lot! I won’t feel not related at all because they are singles, but I know, we all have different struggles, but those struggles are not strange for every one of us. Insecurity, disorganize, discipline, selfishness, self-centeredness, idleness and etc, all these are familiar to us. These are the things that for sure we will go through in our relationship with God. At the same time, I love the time when we can discipling one another, love one another, and encourage one another. Something that campus small group had not been practicing very well so far. Honestly, they really help me to gain my conviction in God again and also, to be urgent about mission.

Another exposure under the singles ministry does not exclude dating life. Silly me, I was wondering sometimes, is it time for me to open to certain friendships, or is it time for me to consider about dating? I am always afraid of getting hurt, and therefore I holdback. But, what Ai Ching told me made sense. She told me that if my fear is bigger than my love, how am I going to move on in life in the future? It’s really true. Why should I let fear to stop me from continue to contribute in a friendship? Why should my defeat in the past stop me from building new friendships with brothers? Why should my boyish character stop me from continue to serve the brothers? I shall continue to serve them selflessly, and be a loving sister as how Jesus intended me to be. Definitely, I hope by reading the book on friendship, I can contribute more.

Four guys: two to die

2009-08-23T19:36:00.003+08:00

After visiting Alice, I grabbed this book when I was on the way back home in the train. I really felt cut, and my heart was in pain as I read “How to be a friend people want to be friends with…” Reason being, I was truly convicted. I bought this book because I know I have a lot of acquaintances, but I hardly develop very deep friendships. Sometimes I wonder, most of the friendships that I’ve gained, people gave more than what I’ve given. I’m not a good listener. By nature, people tend to call me a “cold blooded” person. Yeah, most of the times, I do not care about people’s affair. At one hand, I thought, perhaps people just need their own time and own space. I shouldn’t have interrupted them. At the other hand, I thought, perhaps people might want me to say something, but I do not know what to say, and even how to comfort those people.

At first I really doubt what I can really gain from this book. The first thing that came into my mind was, this book will help me to improve my listening skills. However, I under estimated its power. This book has things that are more than what I thought. By reading only the first chapter, I’ve already gained quite a lot I felt pain in my heart, as my reactions all the time was like how the author treated the other man, who killed himself because of his broken relationships with his wife and his son and daughter-in-law. Wow, I had never imagined that, by what I’ve done most of the times, and I thought that it’s ok, it won’t be any big deal, and it actually can kill people! What more about us, who called ourselves Christians. Do I really want to continue to be me or to be selfless, like the other man described in the book, which, his act of love actually saved another person, whom he just got to know few seconds ago? Of course I hope that I can be able to grow to be a servant friend to others. Be it friends in the church or friends whom I’ve hang out with. I really hope that I can be a servant friend to all of them.

Treasures

2009-08-22T09:04:00.001+08:00

Sisterhood is awesome!!!
Yesterday, after the small group meet up,
Katy, Sim and I went to Sufes
(Sim kept promoting that there is sales going on)
And excitedly, I got these!

“How to be a friend” is very useful for me as I am really not a good listener… (T_T)
“Walking in Wisdom” is a great book on Ecclesiastes, talks a lot about our struggles in the world.
And, last but not least, “Our Life Together” is the book that I hope can help my small group and even the campus to grow together strong, united, and loving towards one another.

Total of three books cost me only RM5, but the contents in the books are really priceless, and can be used for my whole life. I think, it really worth spending RM5 on these books at my now pocket empty period. ^ ^

無奈

2009-08-13T20:36:00.001+08:00

我每一天，每一天，都被你踩……
天啊，有時候，真的會覺得自己一文不值。
還好，如果不是神給我的信心還有承諾，
我想，我將會完全失去自信，沒臉見人了！

想說，或許每天給你踩得太盡了，
有時候，我真的是不知道該說什麽樣的話來安慰你，
我也不知道該怎麽鼓勵你，
我也不知道身為一位朋友，我可以為你做什麽，
因爲你就好像爸爸那樣，
無論我們做得多好，一切的付出都會被貶得一文不值。

我是很無奈，別怪我太冷漠，
因爲我不想再讓自己受到傷害……

病貓重現

2009-07-31T07:31:00.001+08:00

病了……
不，應該是，上個星期天就開始病了，
而這幾天，因爲種種因素而讓病情加重了。
原本是應該請病假的，
但是還有東西要做，所以我堅持繼續進行我的實驗。

工作到一半時，已經非常的不行了。
想叫男朋友載我回家，可她上課去了。
只好托著搖搖欲墜的身子回家，
看了醫生，請了一天病假。
還有，醫生這次也是給了很多的葯……
看了，真的是很咽不下去……

吃了葯之後，終于可以安眠十二個小時！
最近一直都睡不好。
但是，這一次，真的是睡得很好！
希望自己可以快快好起來吧~

除草記

2009-07-29T20:59:00.001+08:00

經過多個禮拜的掙扎還有騷擾，
終于求到髮型師幫我除草（剪頭髮）了~

不過，首先，先看看這是什麽？

對了！就是Mashi maro的MP3！
超可愛的！播放時他的頭還會閃燈，很神奇也！^^

看看俊俊從頽廢look，

變成鮮蛋超人look；

再變成最終的學生look。（他說這是保持含蓄的笑容……(=_=;;)

幾經辛苦，終于把頭髮修好了！
呵呵~從新開始，再繼續留長髮！\(^O^)/
而俊俊是和長頭髮說“bye~bye~”

搞到蠻夜才回家的，累！(>_<)

今天，病情加重了……
應該是昨天的二手煙加遲睡，
再加上今天忙得連吃飯、喝水的時間都沒有，
所以令到身體變得越來越差吧~
我的聲音，也從早上的可愛，
變成傍晚時的恐怖了……(T_T)
希望病情可以快快好起來！^_^

今夜，讓我偷偷收藏我的小我

2009-07-27T21:13:00.001+08:00

今夜，回到家所做的，就是“鑑賞”Kagrra的《珠》。

曾經聼友人說，Kagrra初期的歌很難聼。
但是，自我開始聼Kagrra時，都不覺得他們的歌很難聼。
而這張專輯，也非常的合我的胃口~ ^ ^

今天，濫用了自己的時間，也偷了別人的時間。
不是故意遲到的……
我可以給你上萬的理由，
但是，錯還是錯。對不起……
就原諒貪婪的我，只想偷去一些女生霸道的特權——讓人等。
是男人的話，就別追究吧！^ ^

自欺欺人

2009-07-26T21:45:00.003+08:00

還以爲今天的我可以特早的睡，
怎知，九點多，有人打了一通電話來，
之後就噩夢連連了……
天啊！好恐怖！

這次的噩夢，有點另類……
夢見自己殺了人！
不是一個，而是兩個！
而且，恐怖的是：
我並不自首，還自欺欺人，說，是不會有人發現的……
還有，爲什麽是有第二宗殺人事件，
是因爲我不斷地説服自己，就這個以後就不會再發生了！

有時候，人性真的很恐怖！
我們太會自欺欺人了。
很多時候，我們的心，都會歪曲了事實，
讓我們一直沉醉在自己的謊言當中，
或許那樣，我們可以得到短暫的解脫。
但是，那樣，反而會讓我們對事物變得更麻木！

屬靈上的戰爭，也是如此。
如果繼續這樣，事情何時了？
不小心掉入自己的心所設下的謊言而下了地獄，
豈不很冤枉？

Intuitions

2009-07-26T17:53:00.003+08:00

Sometimes, I can feel that something is just not right.
Yeah, I used to depend so much on my intuition.
But after I got to know God, I depend so much on God's word,
and never would I want to rely on my intuition.

However, during the temperament study,
I learnt that some people are being more intuitive.
Well, perhaps it's gift from God.
I struggled so much.
In one hand, I have strong feelings toward things.
In another hand, I wish that I will not just follow those intuitions that I have,
but rather, do something more practical about things.
Yet, most of the time, I got things right through my intuitions.

What shall I do now?

My War

2009-07-26T01:50:00.000+08:00

今天真是忙碌的一天，但是，很慶幸的是，戰爭結束了！

昨夜遲睡，今早真的是有點掙扎。
臨時抱佛腳，起床之後才準備今天的教材，
還好，不費多少時間就搞定了！呵呵~

之後在KLCC見了Apple設計係的同學，討論做名片的事情。
其實，我真的真的很沒有頭緒！
也不知道自己想要怎樣的名片。
身邊的朋友都很忙，只好找這個Jason幫我做了。
看了他的作品，很合我的品味。
期待看到自己的新名片，雖然還是對化妝沒有什麽信心，
但是，就是要繼續練習才會有進步呀！
基本上，Jason也給了我很多鼓勵。
Moncher！我來了！v(^ w ^)v

見了Jason，匆匆衝囘PJ開始戰爭，照顧小孩……
基本上，孩子們的場面是非常難控制的！
但是，好不容易，終于挨過了……
不過，之後又要照顧年紀較小的小孩，
好掙扎！因爲Amelia一直不停的在哭……
好不容易，也挨過了……
之後，身上留下了Amelia重重的牛奶味……

我的戰爭基本上還沒有結束。
照顧完小孩之後，又要趕Jean的study。
在和她分享聖經之前，先到她的農場幫她的羊打針。
我人生中第一次聽見羊好像人那樣叫，真的好恐怖！（男朋友快點把影片放上網！）
嚇了我一跳！而且，就因爲如此，我又失控了……
禱告時忍不住一直笑，還給人打……(T_T)
和Jean讀聖經到蠻遲的，之後還送PK回家，
回家途中，我已經是半休眠狀態了。

呵呵~今天，是和男朋友分開一個星期后再次重逢！
不過，好像被她傳染病毒了……
聼她一路上分享了很多新學校的事情，
還有發生在美玲身上非常有趣、搞笑和經典的事情,
真的很好笑！^ ^

對不起，今天放了三個人的飛機……m(-_-“)m
請原諒我！！！(>_<)
還有……感謝雪雁的午餐，還有男朋友的晚餐~\(^O^)/

Today is a busy day! And finally, the battle ended!!

Slept late last night. This morning I was really struggling.
Prepared the Kids Kingdom materials last minute,
thankfully, can complete on time! Hehe~

Met Apple's college friend from Dasein in KLCC,
we were discussing about my namecard.
I really have no idea what kind of namecard I want to have.
Everybody is busy, and out of desperation, I look for this Jason to help me with designing my namecard.
Saw his portfolio, I really love his works!
Looking forward for my namecard, even though I'm not confident towards myself.
However, practice makes perfect!!
Jason gave me some words of encouragement too~
Moncher!! We're coming soon!! v(^ w ^)v

After meeting with Jason, rushed back to PJ for baby sitting.
Basically, can only use one phrase to describe --> "Totally out of control!!"
After teaching, I've to take care of the toddler.
Amelia was cranking and crying. It took some time for her to stop.
And she left me with her baby milk smell...

We went for Jean's study right after Kids Kingdom.
But before that, we went to the farm to see her giving injections to the goats.
First time in my life, I saw the goat groaning like a man!!!
I got really shocked, and went haywired.
Totally losing control during the Bible study, and got a few hits on my head during the prayer (-_-lll)
The Bible study ended quite late, and we have to send PK back to PJ.
On the way back, I'm already half shutting down.

It was great today as I manage to meet boyfriend after she came back from Pahang orientation!
Got her sickness after sharing a bowl of soup with her... (@_@)
She shared a lot about her school, the orientation, and also May Ling's interesting stories. They are really funny!

Nevertheless, felt sorry for not being able to fulfill my 'promise' to three persons. (basically I fly them kite, if talk in a Malaysian way~)
And, thankful for Seh Yen's homecook food and also boyfriend's dinner~ ^ ^

Count Your Blessings When You Suffer

2009-07-24T22:39:00.005+08:00

I think, I've done this million of times!

Yeah, what else, I'm suffering from.... being broke

Haven't been getting two months salary~
I have not much left for the coming two months.
I do not know who to ask from, the only person that I can really seek help is my mom.
And, as usual, mom told sis, and sis borrowed money, for the first month first.

What moved me the most was one day, dad kept on calling, trying to get me.
I was wondering, what he wants from me this time?
Mom and dad were asking about me whether I have enough to spend,
they were planning to bank in some money for me.
And, unexpectedly, on that day itself, they banked in double of the portion that they've promised, even though they are retirees.
As usual, the guilty soul felt guilty, but really felt love at the same time.
Mom sms right away, saying,"I can't let my baby get hungry!"
Well, that's really assuring and comforting.
And, not to forget, I get free ride almost everyday.
Saves my RM1 everyday.
Haha, sometimes, I do really feel being pampered during period like this.
But it's good isn't it? Sometimes, we really need to count the blessings in our lives, not only during times of suffering.
But I'm really grateful, for God had put different people in my life to help me to pull through.

我知道我已經寫類似的文章上萬次了！
我現在很窮！！！

兩個月沒零用錢，我所剩無幾了……
真的不知道該求誰，而我只可以投靠媽媽了……
就如傳統，媽媽和大姐商量，結果大姐借了一些錢讓我這個月花。

最讓我感動的是，那天爸爸不停的打電話給我。
我還以爲他有事相求，原來，爸爸和媽媽只是想知道我這個月夠不夠錢用。
出乎意料的，他們當天就匯錢了，而且比之前答應的還多了一倍！
他們都退休了……沒什麽錢……
我會覺得内疚……不過，他們的舉動，真的讓我感受到他們對我的愛！
而且，媽媽還寄了封短訊，說，“我是不會讓我的寶貝挨餓的！”
聼了，非常感動！

還有，幾乎每天都有順風車搭，每一天省了那一塊錢！^^
有時，在這樣的情形出現時，真的感覺自己會被寵壞！
不過，這樣不好嗎？至少，可以讓我真正的體會到神的恩賜！
好感謝神，因爲一直以來，他在我身邊，放了很多不同的人來幫我渡過難關。

从新开始

2009-07-24T17:59:00.004+08:00

啊~经过那次的风风雨雨，还是阻止不了我继续写部落格……
这里，还是我最容易表达自己的地方。

最近呀，心情起起落落的，闲得很。
真的！这个星期闲得很~
累累滴，但是，其实还是有很多东西要做的……

不过，最近的病例减少了，
对卫生部来说，确实是件好事；
但对我来说，绝对是一件坏事！
神啊~救救我吧！><

很希望，头脑可以一片空白一阵子，让它冷静冷静一下。
但是，还是有很多东西要想！
明天，是宣言战争的一天！
早上一定要祷告个够！做好一切的准备上战场！
还有~男朋友回来了~竟然带病回来……泄气……(@_@)